Bryan Andrew Carmer

In defiance of his preferences, these words will attempt to remember Bryan Andrew Carmer. He was, to those who knew him, not a man for whom a few words will suffice. He was too stubborn to ever be truly defined. He was fiercely loyal and always ready to make you laugh when you thought you couldn’t do it. He was intelligent beyond measure, seeking always to know and understand. We will remember him for his fits of laughter around the table on holidays when someone mocked his brothers. We will remember him answering Jeopardy!        questions in his sleep after work, and for him calling any one of us a moron when we finally tested his patience enough. We will remember his willingness to always open his heart and home to those of his family in need when he so often had little he could give.

But he would insist we remember him for that which made his life as fulfilling as it was: two children he felt exemplified the best of him; a wife who knew him more intrinsically than he knew himself; seven brothers, two of whom he’d have gone to the ends of the earth for, and a sister for whom he’d have gone farther; an unruly gaggle of nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, and variously invited passers-by whom he charges with continuing to ensure family gatherings remain loud and inappropriate affairs; a granddaughter who he loved more in three years than most men could love in a lifetime; and a mother, who was his confidant, his rock, and his best friend, and for whom he felt the most eternal love and adoration.

He loved his people limitlessly, and they loved him. He was a presence we will feel forever. We will honor him by taking care of those he loved best, and to hell with the rest of you.